


Heir to The Force

by TitaniaTinuviel



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TitaniaTinuviel/pseuds/TitaniaTinuviel
Summary: After one fateful meeting with Kylo Ren, Rey's world was changed forever. Now, she's more determined than ever to make him see the light, but time is against her. With a dark emperor rising in the shadows, Rey knows that she needs to save Ben Solo before it's too late. But she's not only fighting for her own reasons... she's fighting for the child growing inside her. Post TLJ.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 64
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I'm really nervous to be sharing this, and I never intended to post it in the first place, but ever since I saw Rise of Skywalker, I haven't been able to get this idea out of my mind. I want to make it clear right off the bat that while I've seen the movies multiple times, I haven't read the comics or books or any EU stuff. I'm fact checking as best I can, but please understand if I miss something. This takes place after The Last Jedi, and while it doesn't follow the plot of Rise of Skywalker, I do borrow several of the main plot points, so spoiler warning.
> 
> This story will contain a fair amount of cursing thanks to Poe and Kylo, and some heavy smut. If that's not for you, then this story isn't for you. That's just how I write. Without further ado, I'll let you get on with the story.

Emperor Palpatine was nothing if not a patient man. He had spent 35 years in Exegol, hovering in this existence somewhere between life and death. His time was almost complete. He would finally strike out. His granddaughter was, at long last, strong enough to host his spirit. Very soon, he’d be able to put his final plan into motion.

But before he could take any definitive actions, he felt a disturbance in the Force. And if what he felt was true….

Palpatine was a patient man. And if that patience meant he would have the opportunity to train the most powerful Force-sensitive person the galaxy had ever seen, then so be it. All he had to do was wait one more year.

~HtTF~

Rey’s entire body ached. That shouldn’t have been surprising to her—Leia had picked up where Luke had left off as best she could, and it was clear from the beginning that she was going to be no easier on Rey than Luke had been.

Of course, Rey had been training with Leia for almost a year now. While she had been sore for the first few days of working muscles rarely used before, that had gone away quickly enough. Now, it seemed no matter what she did she couldn’t relieve the pain, especially in her feet. Her feet were the worst.

She had just stepped out of the ‘fresher, hoping that the hot water would soothe her muscles. It had helped a little bit but now all she wanted was a nap. That was something else she couldn’t explain, but she was constantly tired. Luckily, it was nearing dusk on Ajan Kloss. No one would think twice if she decided to go to sleep early for one night.

There was little privacy in the Resistance base, so Rey had taken to sleeping on the Millennium Falcon whenever it was available. Poe was scheduled to take the ship on a mission within the next couple of days, but until then, she made her way up the ramp and into the hangar. From there she slipped unseen into the crew quarters.

Before she went to sleep, she was supposed to meditate. Leia had always been clear in her instructions about that. But that was another reason Rey slept abord the Falcon—she didn’t want Leia knowing that she hadn’t meditated in weeks.

Rey hated disobeying Leia, but at this point, she didn’t see another option. Meditating and opening herself up to the Force was only an invitation for him to see her again. And after their last encounter, he was the very last person she wanted to see.

Of course, she could simply tell Leia that she was far too afraid of seeing him to meditate. But that would mean having to tell her master what had happened, and she couldn’t stomach that. No one could know her secret.

Well, no one except him. Kylo Ren.

As much as she tried, she really didn’t have secrets from him anymore. It was all she could do to keep the Resistance base unknown to him. Despite Snoke’s claims that he had been the one to link them together, their Force-bond hadn’t disappeared following his death (leading Rey to doubt the validity of these claims). She didn’t know what power was at work, but she hated that her whole being was bared to Ren.

And since their last encounter, Rey couldn’t stand to even look at him. She had felt him a few times through their Force-bond, and each time she’d done her absolute best to shut him out again.

Maybe if she could just pretend that nothing had ever happened, she could move on from the incident. No one knew anything about what had transpired. Even Finn, Poe, and Chewie, who had been on that mission with her, were completely unaware that nothing had gone according to plan on her end. She could go on pretending she hadn’t betrayed the Resistance in the worst possible way.

Yeah. Right. Forgetting would be so much easier without him constantly probing at her mind. The mere thought of him was a constant reminder to what she had done. She couldn’t forget any sooner than she could forget her own name.

She turned over restlessly, pulling her covers up around her. Ajan Kloss had a warm climate, but that was from humidity, a stark contrast to the dry heat of Jakku. Despite her year of planet-hopping, forcing her to grow accustomed to different climates, she often found herself cold. Usually, this kept her from falling asleep right away.

But tonight, she was so exhausted, so utterly spent, that even feeling cold couldn’t keep her awake. That exhaustion in and of itself was strange, because she hadn’t had a particularly intense workout. And despite her thoughts tormenting her, dwelling on them wasn’t worth losing sleep. What was done was done.

So she rolled over once more, eyelids drooping. She didn’t even have time to close her mind before she drifted off, dreaming fitful dreams of a volatile red saber and intense, yet soft, dark eyes.

~HtTF~

Kylo Ren furiously paced around his quarters. She’d continued to shut him out, and he was infuriated by it. And even more infuriating was the fact that a mere scavenger could have such a profound effect on him.

No, not just a scavenger. She was Rey, his equal in the Force. Her beginnings and where she came from, things she was so obsessed with, mattered little to him. All he cared about what that he needed her, here, now, and she was purposely drawing away from him. 

Everything he had should have been enough for him. He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, and they were about to achieve victory over the Resistance. He was probably the most powerful man in the galaxy. Yet it meant nothing to him if he couldn’t have her. 

He shouldn’t need one person so badly. He’d shut out his heart to everyone, had even murdered his own father in cold blood. But for as long as he could remember, there had been a storm inside him, and nothing he could do could calm it. Embracing the Dark Side was supposed to have calmed it. It hadn’t. Killing Han Solo was supposed to have calmed it. It hadn’t. Even fighting what was left of Luke Skywalker and knowing that his uncle who had tried to kill him was now dead had done nothing. No, each of these events had just fueled the storm, causing it to scream louder and louder within him….

And then she had come into his life. The Force had called out to her, and even joined them together, but it had taken time for him to understand why he was so drawn to her.

It had happened the moment her hand touched his. For the first time in his life, Kylo Ren had known peace, happiness, and something else he wouldn’t dare give a name to just yet. All he knew is that the world ceased to burn around him. There was only her, and she was all he wanted.

And for the first time in many long years, Kylo Ren had yearned, just for one moment, to be Ben Solo again.

But the one thing she asked for he could not give. He had offered her the entire galaxy, a chance to rule without the First Order or the Resistance, just the two of them reigning as equals, as they should be. She hadn’t wanted that.

All she had wanted was for him to come back with her, and that was the only thing he couldn’t face. How could he show up to the Resistance and expect them not to immediately demand his execution? There had been so much pain he had wrought within their ranks, and he knew the Resistance would never forgive his countless crimes.

And yet, for Rey, he might have been able to stomach it… if not for one thing. His mother.

For all that Kylo Ren had done to rid himself of all sentimentality, he couldn’t bring himself to be the one that ended his mother’s life when they had been attacking the Raddus. Nor did he think he could ever face her again knowing that every time she would look at him, there would be mistrust, even hatred, over what he did to Han. 

So he stayed in the First Order, where he didn’t delude himself into thinking he was liked, but at least he was feared enough to the point of being respected. And he’d wanted so badly for Rey to come with him, to be his queen. But just like he couldn’t join the Resistance for her, joining the First Order was the one thing she wouldn’t do, not even for him.

No, it wasn’t that. It wasn’t about joining the First Order. It was that Rey couldn’t bear to leave the Resistance, whom she saw as family, behind.

He scoffed at that. She didn’t need them, but he didn’t know how to make her see that. He could give her a new family, a family of just the two of them. He could give her the entire galaxy if she wanted.

Snoke had told him that the galaxy would be his for the taking once he embraced the Dark Side, and once he, Kylo Ren, ruled over all, he would finally know peace. But if the galaxy ceased to be, and Rey remained, he would be happy. What good was the whole galaxy if he didn’t have her?

The last time he’d seen her in person, he thought he almost convinced her to take his hand. He could feel how much she had wanted to through their Force-bond, could almost hear the word ‘yes’ on her lips. Yet she had still turned him down in the end and chose to go back to the Resistance.

She was more than enough for him. So why wasn’t he enough for her?

Thoughts raging around his head, he subconsciously reached out to her through the Force. The act came as naturally to him as breathing now.

She didn’t instantly push him out, and he hated how quickly hope flared up within him. But immediate further probing proved she couldn’t block him out at the moment—she was sound asleep.

He didn’t like to spy on her dreams. He was sure that if he did, he would once again be forced to relive Han Solo’s death, and it would be infinitely worse looking at it through her eyes. He didn’t want to feel her intense loathing of him, didn’t need to see how much of a monster he’d appeared to her.

But before he could leave, he saw just a flicker of what she saw. His curiosity piqued, he stayed just a little bit longer.

He hadn’t been imagining things; it was his own face that he had seen. But she wasn’t looking at the hard face of Kylo Ren, whose eyes were consumed by hate. No, the person she saw was tender, hesitant, and looking down at her with that unrecognizable emotion in his eyes.

He withdrew as fast as he possibly could, probably startling her enough to wake her up, but at the moment he couldn’t care less. All he cared about was getting away from that image as quickly as he could, even though he knew, even then, that it was going to be burned into his mind forever.

He couldn’t be that man that she saw, the man she wanted him to be, the man he wanted to be for her. He was too far gone down the path of the Dark Side. He didn’t see how anyone would ever be able to pull him out again. Not even her.

~HtTF~

As Leia watched Rey ascend the ramp into the Millennium Falcon, she felt a heavy pang in her heart. Rey was going to have to come to terms with the truth soon, though Leia doubted anyone other than her had sensed what she had sensed.

There was a storm brewing, that was for certain. And not just for Rey, but for the entire Resistance. This couldn’t be kept a secret forever, and how were they going to react when they learned the truth? Some might be moved to sympathy, but those whose emotions ran hotter, like Poe, might be problematic.

But whatever happened, Leia vowed to protect Rey. She’d come to think of Rey like a daughter, and more importantly, now that Luke was gone, Rey was the last of the Jedi. She might be the only hope the Resistance had.

And, quite selfishly, Leia believed that Rey might, just might, convince her son to return to the Light. She had hoped that Han could’ve done it, but Rey and Ben were connected by the Force in a way that Leia had never seen. And now Ben was free from Snoke’s influence. That could be the tipping point he needed.

But if that day did come when her son would return, it would be a long, arduous road. She would have to be patient and hope that he would turn before the First Order could destroy them.

It was a long shot, unlikely at best, but she had faced worse odds before. All she could do now was be there for Rey, who was sure to need allies more than ever, and hope. There was nothing to do but hope.

~HtTF~

When Rey woke the next morning, she was disappointed but unsurprised to find that she still wasn’t rested. Her body still ached, and she wanted nothing more than to pull her covers up to her chin and close her eyes for a while longer.

But she couldn’t. She had her training with Leia to get to, and she was lucky that habit woke her up before she could be too terribly late. She threw her usual clothes on and met Leia in the grove she used for meditation.

“I know I’m late, I’m sorry,” Rey mumbled as she entered the clearing, and had to stifle a groan when she saw that Luke’s lightsaber was firmly tucked away and the rocks were strewn around, the same as she had left them the previous day. She was sure Leia was going to have her attempt to get in contact with the Jedi who came before her again. So far, Rey was striking out on that particular endeavor. Not even Master Luke has made himself known to her yet, and she was getting frustrated.

“It’s alright,” Leia murmured, but Rey couldn’t help but notice that the general appeared uneasy. She wanted to ask why, but knew better by now. During training, Leia was her master, and it would be impertinent for her as a student to ask what was bothering Leia.

“Sit down, Rey,” Leia instructed, having already seated herself on the ground. Rey sat across from her master; legs folded as if she were about to meditate. “Reach out with the Force,” Leia said as Rey closed her eyes. “Don’t try and get in contact with the Jedi from the past today. Focus on who shares the Force with you in the present.”

That was a task Leia had never given Rey before, but she was nonetheless open to trying something new. She stopped herself from reaching back and instead focused on who she could sense in the here and now.

Leia, of course, was a great pillar of light in front of her that was almost as blinding as a sun. And no matter how far away she was, physically, from him, she could always sense Kylo Ren in the back of her mind. While Leia was strong and consistent, Kylo’s dark energy was always flickering, and occasionally tiny bursts of light would break through. Rey moved away from him quickly before he sensed her and tried to get in contact with her.

Instead, she turned her attention to a new being, one that she couldn’t immediately identify. This new being wasn’t light like Leia or dark like Kylo it simply… was. And it was close to her, closer than even Leia was now.

It took Rey a moment, but she suddenly realized this being almost seemed to be sharing her own life force. But it couldn’t be her own powers she was sensing—she’d reached out to the Force that flowed within herself in the past, it had never felt like that before.

Her eyes shot open as she felt like she’d just fallen from a great height, even though she knew that her body hadn’t physically moved. “What is that thing?” she asked Leia, her breath coming out in pants. “That thing connected to me, could you feel it too?”

Leia looked at her with sad, tired eyes. “Yes, I felt it,” she sighed heavily. Rey watched her, silently begging her to explain. “That’s your child, Rey. What you sensed was your baby.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So that's the opener. I generally write longer chapters than this, but I knew that this was where I wanted to end the first chapter, so you can think of this as a prologue of sorts. Like I said, I'm really nervous about this, but I hoped you liked it and if you're so inclined, leaving a comment would really make my day.
> 
> One more thing. I haven't seen too much of this in terms of fanfiction, but it's on every other corner of the Internet so I think I'll mention it just this once. I know that the sequel trilogy is really polarizing in the SW fandom, but I'm a no-hate zone. If you don't like the trilogy, fine. I don't particularly care. Just don't attack others for liking it. I'm totally cool with letting people having their own opinions, but in turn please respect the opinions of others, even if they differ from your own. Just let people enjoy what they're going to enjoy.
> 
> And with that, I'll see you next time. Hope to hear from you in a comment!
> 
> ~TT


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize if this is chock-full of grammar mistakes, but I’ve literally been up all night writing this. I had inspiration and it wouldn’t go away or let me sleep. So, y’all get a new chapter, and I get like, 3 hours of sleep until work. I hope you enjoy!

Rey felt like she’d been punched in the gut and had the wind knocked out of her. She could barely remember how to breathe. A child? Her child? There had to be another explanation. There was no way, _no way_ she could be having a baby. Not even in her worst nightmares did she even consider the possibility.

“You’re… please tell me you’re joking,” Rey whimpered as she stared at Leia. One look into Leia’s dark brown eyes told Rey that she was not, in fact, joking. “There has to be another explanation,” Rey continued desperately before Leia could say anything. “Leia I can’t… I can’t be….” She couldn’t even bring herself to say the word.

Leia sighed again. “Rey, I can assure you that I’m not mistaken. I’ve been able to sense it for weeks now. I had a baby; I know what they feel like in the Force. I didn’t want to tell you at first but… well, it’s better that you find out now instead of later.” Her eyes softened then, yet simultaneously grew more serious. “Rey,” she said, lowering her voice even though no one else was around. “I need to know… who is the father?”

Rey swallowed back bile that had suddenly risen in her throat. This is what she was so afraid of: her secret getting out. And soon enough, the entire Resistance would know. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had a nagging suspicion that Leia already knew the answer and she just wanted Rey to confirm it.

“It’s Ben,” she whispered, unable to make her voice any louder. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Leia smiled, but her face was full of pain. “Yes, but you needed to hear yourself say it,” she explained. “Did it happen on Dantooine?” Unable to force any more words out of her stuck throat, Rey nodded mutely. But in her mind, she was returning to that night that she now knew was going to change her whole life.

~HtTF~

_She, Finn, Poe, and Chewie had taken the Falcon on a mission to Dantooine. The Resistance was in desperate need of supplies, and Leia had suggested that there might have been some left behind from when the Rebel base was located there. It was a desperate shot, but even a little something was better than nothing. So the four of them had set out to see what they could find._

_As soon as the Falcon landed just outside of the unstable remains of the base, some First Order troops had spotted the ship and radioed back to Kylo Ren. He arrived minutes later, but she and the others weren’t aware until Rey’s Force-bond with him told her he was close._

_So it had become a race to try and get back to the Falcon with as many supplies as they could carry before Ren caught up to them. Finn, Poe, and Chewie had made it back without any incident. She’d told them to go on ahead while she dealt with the Stormtroopers, and that was when he found her._

_She’d been able to dispose of the Stormtroopers easily enough, and just as the last of them fell at her feet, she saw the familiar angry light of Kylo Ren’s red saber. He advanced toward her slowly, almost leisurely. Rey had stood her ground, holding her own blue saber out in front of her._

_They had shared all of one blow. He used his blade to push hers to the side, and before she could realize what was happening, his gloved hand was on her face, and his lips were pressed firmly against hers. Without stopping to think about it, she was kissing him back._

_Simultaneously, they extinguished their sabers, tossing them carelessly to the side. His gloves were off his hands now, and both of them held her face with a light touch. Her own arms snaked around his neck, hands tangling in his thick dark hair, pulling him ever closer._

_They pulled away from each other only when they needed air, but his hands never left her face, her arms stayed around his neck. They simply stared into each other’s eyes, his dark ones into the warm honey of hers. Both of them were breathing heavily, causing her chest to ghost against his._

_Without a word, their lips crashed against each other’s again, and his hands slid down her sides before coming to rest at her hips. Though his actions were far more purposeful now, he was still gentle with her, a far cry from the iron fist of Kylo Ren. Without meaning to, he was showing her the small glimmer of Ben Solo that still existed within him._

_It was at this point that Rey’s better nature had started screaming at her, reminding her of things she’d rather forget about. This was_ Kylo Ren _, her sworn enemy. More than that, she was training as a Jedi. She was supposed to have better self-control than this._

_Yes, all of those were good points. If there was a moment that she might have been able to stop herself, that would have been it. But then his lips moved down to her neck, and Rey forgot all the reasons why she most certainly should not be doing this. She allowed a darker side of her, a side that was completely intoxicated by the man in front of her, to take control._

_She found her own hands fumbling with the belts at her waist, trying to remember how to take them off as his mouth thoroughly distracted her. Finally, she unhooked the things and threw the leather at her feet._

_Ben pushed her outer garment off her shoulders, and she took the opportunity to take his face between her hands to capture his lips in another desperate kiss. In his lips, she could feel all of his pain and loneliness as if it were her own. She wanted nothing more than to take that pain away from him, but could think of no other way to do it than to press her body flush against his and try to convey her own thoughts without speaking._

You’re never alone. I’m always here.

_He must have heard her, because one of his arms embraced her around her back while his other hand found a resting place on the back of her head. She began to taste new emotions in their impassioned kiss, most notable his utter adoration of her. And maybe there was even a tiny sliver of hope as well._

_Her own hands found purchase on his steady shoulders, and her fingertips danced around the fastenings of his cloak. Her nimble fingers undid them quickly and immediately moved to the belt at his waist, removing that as well._

_As if not to be outdone, he slid his own hands up her tunic, and she gasped into his mouth as his fingers traced over the skin of her stomach, followed her spine up her back. His touch left a pathway of burning arousal, and she needed more of him._

_Too far gone to be embarrassed, she grabbed the hem of her tunic and lifted it over her head, letting it land in the growing pile of their clothes. The fabric forced their lips to part, and while she would have happily gone back to kissing him as soon as she was able, she found his interest was decidedly not on her lips anymore._

_No, his head had travelled down to her chest, his lips exploring the new area greedily. She threw her head back as his mouth came into contact with her breast, and her knees began to shake from the effort of trying to keep herself upright._

_She shifted her stance, trying to relieve some of the tension that was steadily building up between her legs. Her movements did not go unnoticed by him, and he trailed a line of kisses down her torso until he was completely on his knees in front of her. His fingers hooked into the waistband of her trousers before he glanced up at her, silently asking permission. She granted it immediately with a frantic nod of her head._

_He pulled her trousers off of her, his fingers grazing over each new bit of skin as it was exposed. She couldn’t help but toss her head back, her breathing heavy and labored. She didn’t think she could handle much more of his teasing. She needed his mouth on her… now._

_She tilted her hips towards him, trying to convey what she so desperately craved without having to explicitly spell it out for him. And even though she couldn’t see him, she could practically feel the smirk on his face as his fingers pressed against her hipbones._

_Just when she thought she could stand it no longer, his mouth finally made contact with her burning center. The second it happened, a deep moan tore its way from her throat. The sound seemed to her as loud as the Falcon’s blaster in the deserted Rebel base. She put her arm over her mouth biting into her own skin to attempt to keep herself quiet, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t stop the moans he was eliciting from the back of her throat with his all too skilled mouth._

_She could feel herself cresting higher and higher, and when he slipped a couple fingers into her and pressed his tongue against her clit all at once, she reached orgasm. Her knees finally gave out as she sank to the floor to ride out her wave._

_He sat back and simply watched as she recovered. The look in his eyes was tender, hesitant almost. She’d seen that look from him only once before—when he had touched her hand in the hut on Ahch-To._

_Perhaps it was because of that look he gave her, but all Rey knew is the second she came down from her high she had launched herself at him and was kissing him again, tearing at his clothes in a desperate attempt to rid him of them. After several minutes of fumbling and almost nonstop kissing, both of them sat naked on the floor._

_They didn’t say a word. They didn’t need to. Her emotions were as bared to him as her body, as were his to her. He drew her into his lap and kissed her again, soft and sweet. It was different from the other kisses they had shared, but Rey didn’t mind in the slightest. He was showing her adoration and uncertainty. But more than that, he was showing her Ben Solo._

_She pushed him onto his back, so she was properly straddling him. She could feel his hard length against her thigh, and it took all of her willpower not to blush. Instead, she focused on the dark expanse of his eyes as she raised her hips. Bracing her hands on his shoulders, she lowered herself onto him with agonizing slowness._

_Though she’d known pleasure from her own hands and, of course, his mouth from moments before, it was nothing compared to this. With his hands on her hips, with his cock firmly inside her, Rey had never known it was possible to feel so good._

_After taking a moment to get used to him being inside her, she began rocking her hips back and forth, still maintaining a relatively slow pace. She knew this moment had to break at some point, but until then she was determined to make it last as long as possible. “Ben,” she breathed. It was the first word either of them had spoken out loud._

_At this sound of his name whispered from her lips like a prayer, he suddenly grabbed her upper arms and rolled her onto her back. Her breath hitched, and for a moment she wondered if she had gone too far by calling him Ben. But when she chanced a glance into his eyes, she found they were as soft as ever._

_He took control of their pace now, thrusting his hips into hers with greater intensity than she’d been initiating. Her breath was coming out as pants now, and she could feel herself slowly cresting up to that high again._

_Almost absentmindedly, she snaked her hand between them to rub her own clit. She only enjoyed the action for a moment before he noticed what she was doing and swatted her hand away. She was about to protest, but his hand replaced hers, his thumb delicately stroking the sensitive little bud, and she quite suddenly couldn’t think of what she would ever want to protest about._

_Her second orgasm hit her so quickly she didn’t have time to be prepared for it. All she knew is that she was gasping heavily, hands digging into his back as she blindly searched for his lips for another searing kiss._

_He continued to thrust into her, prolonging her high as he searched for his own release. He found it moments later, sighing into the kiss they were sharing. Their bodies were still as they both rode their waves out in tandem, and then he slowly, and with no small amount of reluctance, pulled out of her._

_He pulled her up so she was sitting in his lap again. Hesitantly, she reached up until she was cupping the side of his face. Almost subconsciously, he leaned into her touch as she slowly tilted her head towards him._

_“Rey!” Finn’s shout, though not close, immediately told they two that they would be found if they weren’t quick to redress. Rey scrambled back into her clothes, trying to make sure nothing appeared too disheveled or out of place, before calling her saber back to her with the Force. She made to run out of the small room and back into the maze of tunnels._

_“Rey.” She turned back at her sound of her name. It sounded so different coming from Ben’s mouth rather than Finn’s. Though he had dressed as well, his hands were still ungloved, and he was holding one out to her. “Please,” he begged, his eyes pleading as much as his voice was. He almost sounded heartbroken._

_She hesitated. Though he’d offered her the chance to take his hand before, she was more tempted than ever to accept his offer. What they had just done would no doubt bind them forever. She wanted desperately to start over, to make a life with this man who understood her soul, just as she understood his. They would be happy._

_She forced herself to close her eyes, turn away, and run down the hallways in search of Finn. She found him quickly enough, assured him she was alright. Together, they made it back to Poe, Chewie, and the Falcon._

_She didn’t look back until they were in Dantooine’s atmosphere. Then, without a word to her friends, she had locked herself in the crew’s quarters and finally allowed herself to sob._

~HtTF~

Rey didn’t know how long she sat there, lost in her memory, until Leia finally put a hand on her shoulder. “I know it’s hard,” she said gently. “It was hard enough for me when I was pregnant, and that was when the galaxy was at relative peace and I had Han…” She trailed off here for a moment before refocusing her attention. “But what I’m trying to say is that I’ll help you any way I can. If you want to hide this from the others as long as possible, fine. If you want to tell them but can’t find the words to say, fine. Even if you need some general pregnancy advice, I’ll be here for that.”

Rey swallowed heavily at that word. Pregnant. She still couldn’t apply the word to herself. “How long before I… can’t hide it anymore?” she asked timidly.

“You won’t start showing for a few months yet,” Leia answered, and Rey breathed a sigh of relief. “How much do you know about pregnancy and childbirth?”

“Not much,” Rey admitted. Without any parental figure to teach her these things, Rey only had the scattered information she could glean from the various traveler’s to Niima Outpost. When she had first bled, and ran to Unkar Plutt screaming and crying for answers, one kind woman had taken pity on her and taught her the basics and that sex could lead to pregnancy. But that woman, like all of the others, left sooner rather than later before Rey even knew what questions to ask.

“He’s going to find out sooner or later,” she whispered, almost to herself. “I’ve been doing my best to block him out, but I can’t do that forever. And once he does get through to me, he’ll be able to sense… what happened.” She turned back to Leia, her eyes brimming with tears. “What am I going to do?”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Leia murmured, dashing all of Rey’s hopes. It would be so much easier if someone else could make all of these impossible decisions for her. “This is your child Rey. No one can make decisions for it but you.”

“It’s not just mine though,” she whispered. “It’s Ben’s too. If he was just Kylo Ren, maybe it would be different, but he’s not. He keeps showing me that he’s still Ben, but every time I think he’s finally going to come back, he gets scared and retreats back into Kylo Ren. And Kylo Ren doesn’t deserve to be a parent.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “But this… baby. It’s not Kylo Ren’s. I know that in my soul. It’s Ben’s. And Ben deserves to at least be told. It’s what I would want if I were in his place.” She knuckled her eyes, trying to rid them of the tears that were falling at irregular intervals. “I’m just terrified of actually telling him.”

“Don’t feel like you have to do anything unless you’re absolutely certain it’s the best thing for both you and the baby,” Leia urged. “I love my son, and I always will. But if him knowing will put you in ever more danger from the First Order, it might be better to wait.”

“No,” Rey said, and she was surprised how steady her voice had become. Since leaving Jakku and discovering she had the ability to use the Force, Rey had been confronted with countless seemingly impossible decisions, and she wasn’t sure she had always made the right choice. But here, this was the only viable option she could see.

“I never even thought of the possibility of having a child. I didn’t know how to be a parent because I never knew mine. I never wanted to commit a child to the same fate as I had. But now, I can’t put it through that. I won’t abandon this child like I was abandoned. So Ben needs to know about it too. And…” She paused here, almost not daring to voice her most desperate dreams aloud.

“This might be the catalyst he needs to turn his back on the First Order and embrace the Light again,” Leia finished for her. Rey smiled at her master. Leia was the only one left who could empathize with her because she, too, wanted Ben to be saved more than anything.

“Go,” Leia said. “Don’t expect that you’ll be getting off completely with your training, but you’ve earned a break at least for today. Take some time to yourself. And don’t let me catch you running the course either.” Leia’s tone was firm, but the old twinkle was back in her eye. Rey had missed it.

She nodded eagerly and headed back to the Falcon. Some members of the Resistance were beginning to get up and about, but thankfully she didn’t spot Finn, Poe, Chewie, or even BB-8, and for that she was grateful. This was something she needed to do alone, and without delay.

Back in the privacy of her quarters, she took one breath to steel her nerves and then, for the first time since Dantooine, opened her Force-bond with Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really hoped you liked that! I hope I at least met your expectations, because you far exceeded mine with the outpouring of support you’ve shown me and my story. I would love to hear from you in a comment, they make my entire day when I get one.
> 
> One more thing. If you’d like sneak peeks and updates on this story, I post them on my tumblr, TitaniaTinuviel. I don’t know if that would interest anyone, but it’s there if you want to use it.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for the support. I hope to hear from you in a comment!
> 
> ~TT


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I meant to get this chapter out sooner, but I do have a fairly hectic life that can annoyingly get in the way of writing from time to time, and sadly every time I wanted to write, I kept getting interrupted by something. But this is my personal favorite chapter so far (and you should understand why when you get to the end) and it's also the longest, so I hope that makes up for the wait. So, I'll shut up now, and let you get to reading!

Kylo Ren was alone. He was supposed to have a report from Hux soon, but he already knew what the report would say: while they had ruled out some planets, the First Order was no closer to finding the Resistance. If they had, Hux would have ordered a strike without a second thought. 

In short, he was getting restless. There was nothing Kylo hated more than waiting, and his already limited patience was beginning to wear thin.

He was just at his door, about to leave for his infernal meeting with Hux when her presence suddenly overwhelmed him. Finally, finally, she was reaching out to him, letting him back in! He spun around and sure enough, there she was. Even though he knew they were worlds apart, she couldn’t have been clearer if she really were on that ship with him.

Rey had underestimated how hard it would be to see him again. His dark eyes were just as vulnerable as they had been during their tryst on Dantooine. His hair was messy, and the scar that she’d given him stood out sharply on his pale complexion. He was utterly beautiful to her, and had been ever since Ahch-To.

And the fact that he wasn’t there with her, the fact that they found themselves on opposite sides of this war absolutely killed her. She’d never known that pain, never known that longing, could be so acute.

“Ben,” she whispered, and it was the exact same way she had breathed his name on Dantooine. Kylo took a sharp intake of breath as his thoughts were also drawn back to that moment. He hadn’t bothered to correct her on the usage of the name Ben then, and he didn’t do it now either. He hated hearing the name that his parents had given him—and yet, hearing it in her breathy whisper had quickly become his new favorite sound in the galaxy. And the last time he had heard it, he’d been able to hold her in his arms, had been able to call her his for a brief moment, until she’d been ripped from him by the annoying interruption of the kriffing defected Stormtrooper who had caused him nothing but trouble. That time she had left him had been the most painful rejection he had ever felt, and in his life, that was saying something. But now she was here again, searching him out, and all that pain melted into that unfathomable emotion he didn’t have a name for yet.

“Rey.” Her name was a prayer on his lips. He took one large step towards her, but she recoiled, instantly turning her face away from him. That stopped him dead in his tracks. Usually, his initial response would be to put his guard up, but that would be counterproductive at the moment. Still, he supposed some subtlety couldn’t go amiss. She would join him. He was so close to convincing her on Dantooine. All he had to do was exercise a bit of patience.

He sat down in front of her, just close enough to reach out and touch her if she let him. Her eyes were closed, but she was taking quite shaky breaths. Her arms were wrapped around her abdomen, and when he studied her face, he found fresh tear tracks staining her cheeks. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he queried.

Rey took one final deep breath before finally opening her eyes to look at him. If she didn’t tell him now, she knew she never would. It was one of the most difficult things she had ever done in her life. But somehow, she knew she was making the right decision. This baby would change both of their lives. He had to know.

She extended her arm out towards him. “Give me your hand,” she whispered. Almost immediately, he did so, though she noted the confusion written on his sharp features.

She stared into his dark eyes, not looking away even to blink, as she slowly pulled off his glove, dropping it to the floor. His bare skin was touching hers now, and it was no less jarring, no less… intimate to Rey then the first time they had touched on Ahch-To. She wished she could take a moment to simply revel in the touch, but she couldn’t afford to be distracted now. She had to keep her mind focused on her goal.

Still not taking her eyes from him, she moved his hand towards her abdomen. Her movements were even slower now, yet more deliberate. She didn’t know why she was prolonging the moment so much, unless she subconsciously still didn’t want to deal with the fallout. That was a highly likely possibility.

But before she was fully ready, his palm was touching her, immediately followed by his fingers, and now his whole hand was splayed out over her stomach. She put both of her hands, so small compared to his, overtop his own, held her breath, and waited.

His brow was furrowed, and his eyes dropped from hers to look at her midsection. After a moment, he seemed to realize that she wasn’t going to say anything more and instead, he instinctively reached out with the Force.

She could feel him coming into contact with their child and the strange way it presented itself in the Force—powerful, but not yet Light or Dark. It truly was unlike anything she’d ever experienced, and she never would have guessed what it was if she hadn’t had Leia to tell her. Rey wondered if she would have to do the same thing for Ben as she saw his features scrunch up, his confusion growing stronger.

And then everything changed. She could pinpoint the exact moment he realized what had happened. His eyes went impossibly wide, almost comically so. His jaw slackened, causing his mouth to hang open slightly. His breathing grew erratic and heavy, and he blinked several times before his eyes met hers again.

She offered him a shy little smile, unsure of what else she could do, and nodded her head slightly just to confirm it to him. At her gesture, she thought she saw the corners of his lips turn up, and for a moment she was quite sure that he was going to kiss her. She couldn’t deny that she wanted to know what kissing him would feel like when they were connected through the Force. She craned her neck forward and her lips parted slightly in anticipation.

Instead, he stood up from his seat so forcefully that he sent it flying across his quarters. He lunged forward so his face was mere inches from Rey’s, his hands pressing into the tops of her thighs. “Where are you?” he demanded.

She shook her head once before looking down, trying to recover from the sudden, jarring shift in the mood. “I…”

“Rey!” he nearly shouted, startling her so much she had to look into his eyes again. “I won’t ask again. Where. Are. You?” he repeated, nearly growling out the words. Rey was suddenly aware of what was happening with him. She could deal with Ben Solo. She could even deal with Kylo Ren. What she saw in front of her was Ben Solo hiding desperately behind the mask of Ren, making the two almost impossible to separate. She wasn’t quite sure how to act when he was like this, but she was in no mood to deal with Ren at the moment. She wanted Ben, but she knew she would have to tread carefully to get what she wanted. 

“You know I can’t tell you that,” she murmured, trying to calm him with the tone of her voice. She failed spectacularly.

“Kriff, Rey, this isn’t up for a fucking discussion!” he raged. “How am I supposed to keep you safe if you’re somewhere I can’t get? Hux and Pryde are relentlessly searching for the Resistance. I’ve given instruction that you’re to be taken alive, because for the time being, I’ve convinced them that you can be turned, but if you fight them, they will not hesitate to end you. I won’t let that happen!”

“You’re the Supreme Leader, order them not to attack at all,” Rey suggested. One look at Ren told her that wasn’t going to work.

“And how long do you think I’ll be Supreme Leader after trying to give that order?” he sneered. “Ever since Snoke died, Hux has been looking for a way to dethrone me. And Pryde is worse; he’s leftover from the Empire and is trying to restore it. He’s ruthless. Please,” he begged, and all of the sudden Ben Solo had returned to his eyes. Rey was beginning to think she was going to get whiplash from his constant mood changes. “I can’t lose you. Let me protect you,” he whispered, bringing his ungloved hand up to gently brush the side of her face with his fingers.

Despite all her conflicting feelings about him, she couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “Do you even care about the First Order?” she asked.

“No,” he responded without hesitation. That was good. That was hope. Rey clung to it like a new lifeline.

“Then come with me instead,” she urged, grasping his hand in both of her own. “Join the Resistance instead, come back to us. We can restore peace and democracy to the galaxy with your mother. Ben… we can raise our child together.” She felt tears stinging her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She had to be strong and steadfast now.

“I can’t,” he whispered, but she couldn’t help but notice that his voice was unsure. “I can’t fight for the Resistance. They won’t accept me.” His eyes were haunted, and Rey knew they were both thinking of the moment he had killed Han. “We could leave everything behind,” he suggested. “I told you once before, we don’t need the First Order or the Resistance. We can build a new life together, just the two of us… and our child.” The words were completely foreign coming out of his mouth, and though the Force and Rey had both confirmed the truth, he was still struggling to fully comprehend it.

She had given his offer serious consideration the first time around. She’d never wanted to join the war in the first place. It had been accident and chance that had led her to meet Finn and BB-8 and send her on this wild adventure. A life of peace and her family by her side was all she ever wanted. And that was the exact offer he was presenting to her.

Except… what would happen to Finn? To Leia? To Poe, Chewie, BB-8, and the rest of the Resistance? They wouldn’t be able to come. And her definition of family had grown to include each and every one of them. She couldn’t bear leaving them behind. So why was she unable to tell him no?

“Ben…” she started, and he leaned forward, eagerly awaiting her answer. “Even if we did leave, we wouldn’t be able to hide from this fight forever. The war between the First Order and the Resistance is going to have an effect anywhere we could go. They’d find us eventually. And what would we do then? It’s just prolonging the inevitable. One of us is going to have to bend.”

Ben was quiet for several moments, and Rey could feel the conflict that was eating away at him. She hated that he was always tormented by his conflict, but she’d learned the hard way that she couldn’t make the decision of who he should be for him. All she could do was nudge him in the right direction and hope that would be enough.

“We both know what would happen if I were to go to the Resistance,” he said finally. “They’d kill me. Even if by some miracle I managed to escape a formal execution, someone would still try to kill me, probably your friend the pilot.” Rey winced. As much as she hated to admit it… he wasn’t wrong. Poe would easily be the hardest of her friends to win over, and she was already dreading what would happen when he discovered her pregnancy.

But she was confident that between herself and Leia, they could handle Poe. They could handle anyone. Leia’s word was gospel in the Resistance. No one would dare go against her.

Would they?

She hated to even think about it, but Finn would be the other person she’d have to worry about, and he wasn’t near as loyal to Leia as Poe was. He respected her to be sure, but he didn’t see Leia as a second mother the way Poe did. And Rey knew that Finn’s grudge against Kylo Ren was a personal one after his beginnings as a Stormtrooper and their fight on Starkiller Base. Finn might be the trickiest out of everyone. He wouldn’t immediately explode like Poe. His anger would stew, making it harder to predict his final actions.

But she didn’t care. Eventually, they would all come around, even Finn and Poe. She was sure of it. “Between me and your mother, I think we can manage everyone,” she murmured, and took notice of his flinch at her mention of Leia. She pounced on the opportunity. “She misses you, Ben. She wants you home,” she reiterated.

He blinked heavily. “I don’t think… I don’t think she could ever forgive me for what I’ve done,” he whispered, unable to meet her eyes.

She reached out and took his hand in hers again. “She already has,” Rey promised. He glanced up at her again, and she caught that faint air of hope that she had been looking for. “Ben…”

She was cut off suddenly as the hatch of the Falcon opened and she heard Poe and Finn calling out her name. Quickly, she turned back to Ben, determined to leave him with one final thing to think over.

“I want you to help me raise our child,” she insisted. “I don’t want him or her to grow up not knowing their father. But I won’t let Kylo Ren be the one to do that. Their father will be Ben Solo, or no one at all.” She stood. “I have to go. Let me know when you come to a decision.” She felt their connection fade, and as he disappeared from view, she finally allowed one single tear to fall. It hadn’t been a perfect turn of events, but she knew how deep the conflict was tearing at him. If this couldn’t bring him back, she wasn’t sure of what more she could do.

She would have to accept that she did all she could. The rest was up to him now.

Before she could leave the room, she spied something dark on the floor. Curious, she bent and picked it up, and gazed at it for several moments before comprehending what she was seeing.

It was his glove.

Making a split-second decision, she hid it in the folds of her robe just before Finn and Poe came into the room. She whipped around, trying her best not to look guilty. Thankfully, the two didn’t act like anything was amiss.

“So how’d you get Leia to let you off of training today?” Finn asked, tossing her a fruit that was native to the moon and that she’d been eating nonstop for the past month.

“She just thought I deserved a break because I’ve been working hard,” Rey evaded. Lying to them for however many months was going to be harder than she thought. She took a bite of her fruit to try and avoid speaking much more.

“Well, whatever the reason, it’s good for us, because maybe you can finally help us beat Chewie at dejarik,” Poe huffed. “He’s cheating, we just haven’t managed to catch him at it yet,” he grumbled.

Rey swallowed and forced a smile on her face. “Sure. Sounds like fun,” she agreed and allowed the other two to lead the way out.

She would have to take this one day at a time. That was all she could do.

~HtTF~

After their connection faded out, Ren could do nothing but stand in his room, trying to process the information he’d just received.

Rey was pregnant with his child. The two of them, in the heat of passion, had created a new life. It didn’t seem real.

But it was. He had felt that new life in the Force, clearly connected to Rey but also separate. There was no other explanation for what that could be.

He’d given absolutely zero thought to ever actually having a child. While Luke hadn’t been as strict as the Jedi Order of the Republic about forming attachments, the subject of kids had never been broached. And by the time he had joined with Snoke and the First Order, the whole idea seemed like a waste of time to him.

Of course, that had been before Rey had come into his life. She’d already changed the way he thought about everything—the First Order, the Force, and of course, the idea that he didn’t need anyone else. It wasn’t surprising that she might change his mind about children, too.

He still couldn’t decide if his longing for her was a weakness or not. Snoke undoubtedly would have said it was, but he had killed Snoke. He had proved he was stronger than his former master, and Rey had been the catalyst for that action.

Yes, he was determined to never lose a fight if she was in danger. But if the First Order knew of the depth of his feelings for her, they would no doubt exploit them. However, weakness or not, he couldn’t shut off his feelings for her. They were an integral part of him now.

And now there was a new element to the mix. Whether he had thought about it or not, he was going to have a child. And he was still battling his first instinct about what to do, and that was find Rey and bring her to him so he could better protect her. He didn’t care who or what he had to fight; _nothing_ would be able to get through him to hurt her.

But she’d shut that idea down, and he couldn’t even pretend that didn’t ignite his temper. Couldn’t she see how important this was to him? It was his job now, more than ever, to keep her safe while she carried their child.

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths before he could reach for his lightsaber and destroy something. He had to think about this more rationally. Of course Rey knew how important this was—she’d come to tell him after all. And she’d said she wanted him by her side to raise their child.

No, she wanted Ben Solo. And for all her assurances that Ben Solo still existed, he didn’t share the same sentiment. How could Ben Solo have lived through all he had done as Kylo Ren? Rey had found the only shred of humanity he’d had left and drawn it out, but even she couldn’t erase the sins of his past.

As he thought of all he had done, he realized she was right. Kylo Ren didn’t deserve to be a parent. But, oh, how he wanted it. Now that Rey was pregnant, he wanted nothing more than to grow old with her, make a life with her, and yes, raise their baby together. Knowing what he went through as a child, knowing how his parents had always been slightly scared of him, he couldn’t fathom doing that to his own child. The one thing he knew with utter certainty was that he never wanted to abandon his child the way he felt abandoned by his parents. He would not allow himself to repeat their mistakes. 

That meant only one option was available to him: somehow, some way, he was going to have to kill Kylo Ren and resurrect Ben Solo.

But how the kriff was he supposed to do that?

~HtTF~

General Hux prided himself on being able to foresee multiple outcomes to any given situation and find solutions for each of them. No matter what challenges came his way, he was able to maintain his composure and keep a level head. But nothing in the galaxy could have prepared him for what he just overheard.

He’d been on his way to deliver a weekly report about the Resistance to Kylo Ren. When he reached Ren’s personal quarters, he’d found the door open, and could hear Ren talking to someone. Hux never heard the other person, but assumed Ren was using some form of quiet holo-communication. It didn’t matter that he technically never confirmed who Ren was talking to. Hux could safely deduce from Ren’s side of the conversation that he’d been talking to the scavenger girl that he was so obsessed with.

And then Ren had said the words Hux still couldn’t believe he’d heard: “We can build a new life together, just the two of us… and our child.”

Hux had backed away from the door, knowing that Ren mustn’t catch him, and tried to process the information. Kylo Ren having a child? The idea was utterly absurd… and yet, he’d just heard the words from Ren himself.

And quickly enough, the cogs started turning in Hux’s head. He’d always hated Ren, and ever since Snoke’s suspicious death and Ren’s ascension to Supreme Leader, Hux had been looking for a way to undermine his leadership. The only problem was how was he supposed to contend with someone who had mastered unnatural powers that Hux couldn’t begin to understand?

A wicked smile spread across his face. Supernatural powers or not, Kylo Ren was still just a man, and every man had a weakness. And Hux had finally discovered Ren’s weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That twist with Hux was totally unplanned, but I love that my muse took the story in that direction. I love Hux, and I wanted to incorporate him in some way, and I'm very happy this is the way he worked himself into the story.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter, especially the twist with Hux, and let me know if you think the baby is going to be a boy or girl. I have decided on the gender, but I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. So, as always, I would love to hear from you in a comment! Until next time.
> 
> ~TT


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So this was the first chapter that was a bit of a struggle to write. So far, this has been flowing really smoothly, but this chapter gave me a bit of a challenge. However, I do think it turned out alright in the end, and I hope you feel the same way. We're starting to get into Rey's relationships with Finn and Poe as well, and they were fun to work with. Without further ado, I'll let you read on!

Rey was zoned out. She was practicing some basic lightsaber techniques—Leia had told her that it was important to keep her body in shape throughout her pregnancy, she just couldn’t strain herself too much. As such, she was only working on moves that she had already mastered and could probably do in her sleep. But this gave her movements the advantage of being methodical, and that helped turn her mind off.

The only problem with having her mind so spaced out was that she wasn’t focusing on what was going on around her. So when she spun around and saw Poe standing there with a slightly annoyed expression on his face, she could assume that he’d called her name several times already without her hearing him. It wouldn’t be much of a problem, except that it was becoming a bit of a habit with her.

For when her mind wasn’t turned off, she was almost constantly thinking about Ben and their child, and she could hardly concentrate on anything else. It had gotten noticeable to the point where Finn had already asked a couple of times if she was okay. She’d assured him she was, but it was only a matter of time until he called her out on her bluff.

“I thought you were supposed to be out on a raid with the Falcon by now,” Rey said to Poe as she lowered her staff that she was using in place of Luke’s saber.

“I am, that’s why I came out here to get you,” he answered. “We could really use your help. I know we’re just interrupting the First Order’s supply chain, but we always have to fight away at least a few TIE fighters. You’d really be helping if you tagged along.”

Rey hesitated. The day after she’d found out about her pregnancy, Leia had given her clear instructions: she was not to leave the base. The First Order was looking to capture her, not kill her, but the result of being captured would still be nothing short of disastrous. If _anyone_ in the First Order somehow found out that she was pregnant before she was taken to Kylo Ren… she didn’t even want to think of what they would do to her or her baby.

And if she was killed in action… well, that had never bothered Rey much before, but now she had someone else’s life to worry about. She was fine jumping into the line of fire herself, but she refused to put her child in the same peril.

“Leia wants me to stay here until my training is complete,” she said haltingly, and was met with a scoff from Poe.

“We can’t wait for you to finish training. That could take years,” he huffed. “If we sit here and wait, sooner or later the First Order will find us, and we’ll be sitting ducks to them. We have to act while we still can. You’re our best fighter, and a skilled pilot to boot. We need you out there, Rey, not hiding away here.”

She couldn’t deny that Poe’s words stung. She _knew_ she should be contributing, and she wanted to badly, but the fact remained that she _couldn’t_. And the worst part was that Poe and the others didn’t know why she’d been forced to make these difficult decisions. Her training with Leia was a semi-valid excuse, but it came with the unfortunate side effect of implying to others that she was more important, more valuable, just because she had the Force. Some members of the Resistance might believe that to be the case, but Rey was of the opinion that her life was worth just as much as anyone else’s, and most of the Resistance seemed to agree with that line of thought.

But she couldn’t tell them the real reason she was staying behind. So far, only she, Leia, and Ben knew of her pregnancy, and Rey wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. So if the rest of the Resistance thought she was being selfish, then so be it. She’d already decided that she would make that small sacrifice.

For she already felt an almost incomprehensible amount of love for the baby that was growing inside her. Several times a day, she caught herself reaching out with the Force just to reassure herself that the baby was still there. She’d become so familiar with its Force-signature that she thought she could sense both her and Ben together, mixed with something entirely new. It was nothing short of a miracle.

And that was why she had to turn Poe down now, as hard as it was. “I’m sorry, but I need to train. I need to be ready… to face Kylo Ren.” The words tasted like acid coming out of her mouth, but she had to keep up the façade that she intended to fight Ben instead of turning him. Only Leia was receptive to that plan. The others would fight it to their last breath if they knew about it.

Poe’s eyes softened slightly, but he wasn’t willing to give up just yet. “You’ve already beaten him before though,” he pointed out.

“Only once on Starkiller Base, and he’d been shot in the abdomen by Chewie,” she reminded him. “He wasn’t at his full strength then, and it was still more of a draw than anything else.”

“What about when you killed Snoke? On the _Supremacy_?” he asked, and Rey froze. Only Leia knew what had really happened in that throne room. “You had to have beaten him then, right? He wouldn’t have let you kill Snoke or get away without some sort of a fight.”

Rey searched her mind for an acceptable answer. “I… didn’t kill Snoke,” she admitted haltingly. “He was killed by the Holdo maneuver. Ren and I were both knocked unconscious. When I came to, I was more worried about getting out of there and back to the Falcon to worry about what had happened to him.” Poe’s frown deepened at her words, but at least he now looked more confused than angry.

“Thought I heard something different about what went down,” he muttered, and Rey held her breath. Thankfully, he didn’t push the issue. “Alright, I guess I can see where you’re coming from,” he admitted begrudgingly. “But my point still stands. You can’t hide here forever. You need to bring the fight to him before he finds us.” With that, he started heading back towards the Falcon and Rey released the breath she’d been holding.

Another close call, another crisis averted… for now. She just knew that eventually, she was going to slip up and alert someone to her pregnancy, and then everyone would know. Even if by some miracle she managed not to give it away, her body would betray her in just a few short months. She didn’t know if she would never fully be prepared for the inevitable day when the truth did get out.

And worse than them finding out about her pregnancy was going to be _that_ question that would obviously arise: who was the father? Could she somehow lie her way out of that asteroid field? Did she even want to?

No, she technically did not want to continue to hide the truth. In a perfect world, she’d be scared but excited as she made her way through her pregnancy, and she’d have her friends to support her. And most importantly, she would also have Ben.

But she wasn’t living in a perfect world. Far from one. In her world, she could very well be putting her baby in danger if people learned who its father was. So no matter how much she wanted to say something, she wouldn’t. She would not dare risk any harm to her child.

And there was still the matter of what Ben was going to do. She hadn’t spoken to him since she’d told him about her pregnancy, and she was honestly waiting for him to reach out to her first. She knew he was going to have to reach a decision of what to do on his own, and she was also fully aware that constant pressure from her could be detrimental. Yet still, the waiting was agonizing.

But that was her lot at the moment. Keep herself healthy, wait, and hope. And she absolutely hated how useless that made her feel.

The thrum of the Falcon’s engine starting up a short ways away broke her out of her thoughts. She had something she needed to do before the ship took off, and that was to say goodbye to her best friend.

Sure enough, when she made her way over to the Falcon, there was Finn, loading supplies onto the ship. Rey waited until he had relieved himself of his burden before calling out to him.

“Hey,” he greeted her as he made his way over and quickly wrapped her up in a brief hug. “I take it that since Poe wasn’t able to convince you to come along, nothing I say is going to be able to change your mind?” Rey briefly winced at the thought of further discussion of her not being able to go on missions, but at least Finn wasn’t confrontational like Poe was. Instead, he was merely curious.

“I have my orders from Leia,” she murmured. “I know she knows best, even if we don’t always understand why she gives certain orders.” She gave Finn one more hug. “Take out a few TIE fighters for me, okay?”

“Not a problem,” he grinned briefly before concern took over his features. “Are you sure you’re okay? Poe said you weren’t even aware of him calling you earlier, and you’ve been really distracted lately. And you keep holding your arm over your stomach like you’re doing right now. Are you getting sick or something?”

Rey immediately unwrapped her arm from her midsection; she hadn’t even realized it was there to begin with. “No, I’m not sick,” she assured him. “I’m just… tired I guess.” She offered him a weak smile to try and assuage his fears. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back to normal in no time.”

“Okay,” he said, albeit haltingly. “But if there was something wrong, you’d tell me, right? You know you can talk to me about anything.” His words caused a whole new wave of guilt to wash over Rey. She hesitated, considering the possibility of taking him aside, swearing him to secrecy, and telling him the entire story. The words were on the tip of her tongue….

“I know. But everything’s fine,” she heard herself say. Finn clapped her on the shoulder, then headed up into the Falcon with Poe and Chewie. Rey kept her eyes on the beloved ship until it reached the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss and went into hyperspace.

Her guilt from lying to Finn was still gnawing at her gut. Keeping the truth from him was almost as hard as trying to lie to Leia. Up until now, she’d shared everything with Finn. They had started out this crazy adventure with BB-8, and there hadn’t been anything she couldn’t trust him with.

Except… now that she was thinking about it, she was forced to acknowledge that being completely open with Finn hadn’t always been the case. Even before she became pregnant, she’d never told him about the Force-bond she shared with Ben and what had happened on Ahch-To. And while the Resistance knew she’d been aboard the _Supremacy_ during the Holdo maneuver, they didn’t know that she’d initially gone with the hopes of bringing Ben back to the light. She’d eventually revealed that truth to Leia, but she’d elected not to tell Finn.

And of course, there was her Force-sensitivity that Finn, try as he might, just didn’t, couldn’t, understand. She didn’t blame him for that, but it was a barrier between them. Her connection to the Force made her strictly other from all those who weren’t sensitive to it, and she didn’t know how to overcome that obstacle just yet.

What she did know was that she didn’t want to lose her friendship with Finn over her complicated relationship with Ben. Sure, Finn might be mad at first when the truth came to light, but he wouldn’t abandon her completely.

At least, she desperately hoped he wouldn’t.

~HtTF~

Hours later, at dusk, Rey was sitting in her little alcove she used whenever the Falcon was gone. One of the Jedi texts she’d taken from Ahch-To was lying open on her lap. Much of the ancient books was undecipherable to her, but one theme kept repeating itself over and over: The Force was about balance. She turned a page and found herself looking at the Jedi Code.

There is no emotion; there is Peace

There is no ignorance; there is Knowledge

There is no passion; there is Serenity

There is no chaos; there is Harmony

There is no death; there is The Force

Rey couldn’t help but frown as she read over the words a few times. She had problems with a couple of the lines in the Code. No emotion? No passion? That went against everything Rey instinctively looked to in her most dire moments.

In fact, her emotions and her passion had been at the forefront of everything each time she’d been in a lightsaber duel. While fighting Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base, she’d been fueled by her love for Finn as a brother figure, and her love for Han as a father figure (as well as grief over his death). These emotions had awakened the Force within her, allowing her to truly use it for the first time, and enabled her to hold her own against Ren.

And when she had fought the Praetorian guard? It had been her passion for Ben, nothing more and nothing less, that she’d been consumed with in that fight. She had felt him so completely around her; it was like they were fighting as one being. As much as she was loathe to admit it, she’d borrowed some of his darkness for that fight, and he had borrowed some of her light. And she was sure that she wouldn’t have won that battle if not for that darkness.

And balance… these texts spoke of balance, yet also spoke of how it was a Jedi’s duty to be governed by the Light and never let the Dark take hold. To Rey, that didn’t sound like balance at all. It was clearly heavily leaned one way over the other.

She put her head in her hands and groaned. How was she supposed to become a Jedi when she found herself disagreeing with some of the Order’s most basic principles?

“Stressed out?” She whipped her head around at the unexpected voice, and there she found none other than Luke Skywalker standing at the edge of her cot, lit up in a faint blue luminescence.

“Master Luke,” she whispered before a surge of white-hot anger coursed through her. “I’ve been trying to get in contact with you for months. Where were you?” she accused.

Luke heaved out a sigh and sat next to her on her cot. “When I died,” he explained, “I became one with the Force. Therefore, to have a corporeal form isn’t the easiest thing to accomplish, and I’ve only just now managed to make that happen. Even now, you’ll only see me sporadically. Part of being a Jedi is finding your own path and trusting in your decisions.” Rey glanced down. She was sure Luke knew about the doubts she was harboring… and of course, he was probably fully aware of her pregnancy. With all of these factors in play, she wasn’t sure how this conversation was going to pan out.

“And besides,” Luke added before she could say anything, and when she looked up, she could see that he was smiling now. “You’ve hardly needed me. My sister is doing an excellent job on her own.” Rey couldn’t help but smile back at that sentiment. She loved Leia dearly. Aside from being her mentor, Leia was the closest thing Rey had to a mother.

“So why come to me now?” she asked, though the accusation was gone from her tone.

“To help in whatever way I can,” he said. “I know what happened between you and my nephew. And I know both of you have absolutely no idea what you’re going to do about it.”

She couldn’t even pretend to refute him. “I know I shouldn’t have let it happen,” she winced. “I know I should have had better self-control than that, but this bond between us has only gotten stronger and I can’t get rid of it—”

“I’m not asking you to,” Luke interrupted, shocking Rey. When he had witnessed her Force-bond with Ben on Ahch-To, he seemed to think nothing good could ever come of it. “Rey… I created Kylo Ren. My poor nephew had been feared his whole life for being strong in the Force, and that wasn’t his fault at all. I, more than anyone else, should have been the one person he could go to who wouldn’t be afraid of his power. But I, too, responded in fear, and I drove him away from me and led him straight to Snoke. What I did to him, how I wronged him… I regret that more than you will ever know.

“But you saw what I could not. You saw that Ben Solo was still there. And if he’s able to make the right choice, the two of you have the potential to create something far greater than what’s in there.” He gestured towards the Jedi books, catching Rey completely off guard.

“Wait… you don’t think I should become a Jedi?” she asked incredulously.

“I never said that,” Luke clarified. “But the Jedi Order of the Republic was heavily flawed, and their hubris, which they preached against, was ultimately what led to their downfall. If Ben can make the right choice and return to you and the Light, you two could create a new era of Jedi, one better than what came before. You have the tools to fix the mistakes of the past.” A sparkle entered his eyes. “You already have one student,” he teased, looking down to Rey’s midsection.

She folded her arms over her abdomen. “Do you think I’m making the right decision by not telling anyone about this?” she whispered. Any validation she could get would be beyond comforting to her. But to her dismay, Luke just shrugged helplessly.

“I’ve never been in that situation before; nothing even close,” he sighed. “My father, however, dealt with something similar. When my mother, Padmé, was pregnant with Leia and I, that was kept secret. Maybe if my father had gone to Obi-Wan for help things might have turned out differently, but no one can say for certain. And the circumstances couldn’t be more different. I was never a parent. Leia is going to have much better advice on the subject than I could ever give you.”

Rey couldn’t help but frown. “I don’t think I’m ready for this… for anything,” she confessed. “Start a new Jedi Order, bring Ben back to the Light, become a mother… how am I supposed to do all of that?” This time, Luke did have an answer for her.

“Trust in the Force,” he said simply. “Your destiny and Ben’s are intertwined, that much is clear. If you continue to follow the Light, he will join you eventually. I truly do believe that.” He stood then, but continued to look at her. “Rey, you are strong enough to make it through this. And though you might not always see us, a thousand generations of Jedi are watching over you. We will not let you fall.”

“Master Luke?” she called out before he could fade away. “Have you… do you think it would be a good idea for you to speak with Ben? He may need a voice other than mine to help him.” Try as she might, she couldn’t keep the pleading tone out of her voice.

At her words, Luke, for the first time, seemed unable to meet her eyes, but when he spoke, he did so with honesty. “I’m the last thing Ben needs right now,” he mumbled. “He needed to fight me, but he hasn’t forgiven me yet. He may never forgive me. My father, Anakin, has attempted to reach out to him but… he can’t. Ben is so clouded, so conflicted at the moment, no one can get through to him. He will have to make this decision for himself, as you well know. You’ve done all you can. For now, all you have to worry about is protecting that child who will probably define the galaxy one day. That’s what the Skywalkers have been doing for the past three generations.” The old twinkle was back in his eye. “I don’t know if you’re planning on giving the baby the last name of Solo or not, but he or she will have Skywalker blood in their veins. Which means you’re going to be raising a titan in the Force.”

Rey groaned. “You’re not making this any easier,” she complained, but the truth was that, strangely enough, she had been comforted by Luke’s visit. As his image faded away, she clung onto his promise that the Jedi were with her. 

And that meant they were with Ben too, whether he knew it or not. The Jedi of old would not let either one of them fall.

Her patience would come to fruition in the end. And now Luke had given her something to do while she waited for the day when Ben would join her.

She looked down at the Jedi texts, where they preached balance but were unable to find it. Rey instead reached out to her child with the Force. “You know all about balance, don’t you?” she murmured to it. “You seemed to have mastered it.”

She thought back to what Luke had said about the baby’s last name. She hadn’t given it a single thought before, but now that the idea had been planted in her mind, she supposed she favored Solo. But would Ben want that? Would he prefer to name it Organa, after his mother, or Skywalker, after his legacy? Would the name Solo remind him too much of his father?

One thing she was certain of: Her child would not suffer the pain of not having a last name the way she had. Whether it got the name Skywalker, Solo, or Organa, there would be something for it to claim as its own name. Rey was determined to give her baby the sense of family that she herself had never received.

While she was still connected to her child, an idea struck her. Keeping the connection going, Rey found some utensils and paper, and began to feverishly write. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the lack of Ben, but don't worry, our favorite angsty daddy-to-be will return in the next chapter. We'll also find out more about what Hux is planning, so it should be a fun time. In the meantime, I would love to hear from you in a comment! They make my day when I get them, and inspire me to pump out chapters as fast as I can while balancing life. Until next time!
> 
> ~TT


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am so sorry this chapter has taken a long time to come out, but life happens guys. Without going into too much detail, I was very busy in February and the beginning of March (all good things!) and didn't have much time to write. By the time the quarantine started, I got pretty sick and that took me out for a while. But I am back, and I won't bore you with my rambling for any longer. I hope you like the new chapter!

_Kylo Ren was somewhere completely unfamiliar to him. He seemed to be standing in some sort of arena, where thousands of hooded figures stared down at him from all sides. The sky was open to him, and a violent lightning storm was raging over the dark expanse. How did he get here? He couldn’t remember._

_“Ben!” He heard Rey’s shout, and all his confusion vanished. He could figure out how he came to be here later. What mattered now was that she was here, and from the tone of her voice, she was clearly frightened. He had to find her to protect her in any way he could._

_He spun around and found her on her knees at the base of an obsidian throne. She was clearly crying and had something in her arms. He raced towards her, but felt like he was trying to battle his way through molasses. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he strained himself, he never seemed to get any closer to her._

_Suddenly, the thing in her arms moved and Kylo realized with a start that she was holding a child as it turned to face him. He could see that it had a shock of black hair, but he was still too far away to make out any other features._

_And as the child looked at him, whatever was holding him back disappeared and he found himself sprinting to Rey, and was at her side in a matter of seconds. She smiled up at him, and reached out to cradle his face with her free hand._

_All of the sudden, with no warning, she let out a pained gasp just as he was leaning into her touch. Her face drained of all color, and her expression was shock, hurt, and disbelief all mingled together. It was the exact same face Han Solo had worn when Kylo had killed him._

_A red light illuminated Rey from just below his line of sight. The last thing he wanted to do was look down, but some unseen force lowered his head. Sure enough, what he feared and dreaded most was right there in front of him. A red lightsaber was protruding from Rey’s center._

_And he was holding the hilt._

_He extinguished the saber the second he realized what he’d inadvertently done, but it was far too late. Rey’s body was already crumpling to the ground, her wonderful honey-brown eyes still open but not seeing anything._

_He took a step back, horrified by what he was seeing, but a wailing from the ground stopped him from retreating any further. There was the child, no older than an infant, still wrapped up in Rey’s arms._

_He wanted to pick it up, to comfort it, which in and of itself was strange to him. He’d never even held a child before, let alone a baby. Yet he felt oddly connected to the little child on the ground. Hesitantly, he took a couple of steps closer until he was right next to it._

_And then the baby’s eyes met his, and Kylo saw an all too familiar honey-brown color staring back up at him._

_The edges of his vision went black, and soon all he could see were the twin pairs of honey-brown eyes, and all he could hear was a maniacal, cackling laughter intermingling with the baby’s screams…._

Kylo sat bolt upright, breathing heavily, his forehead covered in sweat. It took several moments to process where he was, but finally he registered that he was in his own quarters, not down on some unknown planet. It had only been a dream.

Except… what if it wasn’t? For Kylo had had the same exact dream three nights in a row now, and each time it terrified him more and more. Was it just another nightmare to add to the night terrors that had always plagued him? Or was it something else? Could it possibly be a vision of the future?

He scrubbed his hands over his face to try and erase the vision from his mind, but it was no good. If what he saw did indeed come to pass, if he was somehow responsible for Rey’s death… how could he live with himself?

At least he knew that for now, she was alive and safe. Even when she wasn’t completely visible and in front of him, he could always feel her presence in the Force. If something happened to her, he was sure he’d be able to sense it.

Kriff, how he’d much rather be with her at the moment. Even if he was able to feel if she was in danger, how was he supposed to make any difference? For all he knew, she could be on the other side of the galaxy. And she’d made it perfectly clear the last time he’d seen her that Kylo Ren was not welcome in either her or their child’s life.

And as much as he wanted to kill Kylo Ren and be with her, he wasn’t sure he had the capability. He’d spent years building Ren; how was he supposed to destroy Ren any quicker? And who would he be if he didn’t have Ren to fall back on? Rey assured him that Ben Solo was still buried beneath him, but the truth was that he wasn’t even sure he knew who Ben Solo was anymore.

If only he had someone to help him. For almost his entire life, he’d had a mentor first in Luke, and then in Snoke. But he didn’t want to talk to either of those two men. Snoke would sneer and then punish him for weakness, and as for Luke… well, Kylo hadn’t forgiven his uncle yet. He doubted he ever would. So who, then, could he turn to?

With a jolt of surprise, Kylo realized with a start that he wanted to speak with his mother.

Besides Rey, Leia was the only person Kylo still held a shred of affection for. While most of his memories of her were hazy at best, he could vividly recall that she, at least, understood that his unnatural powers as a child was just the Force manifesting in him. And though she rarely used it herself, even from a young age he’d known that his mother shared that power with him, and it had comforted him to know that he wasn’t totally alone. It had been a connection that he hadn’t had with Han.

But Leia was even more inaccessible to him than Rey. He didn’t have a Force-connection with his mother, and he doubted he would ever have that kind of bond with anyone other than Rey.

The only thing he could think to do would be to open his connection to Rey, and then see if he could get his mother within the proximity of Rey to try and speak with her that way. When he and Rey had first touched hands, he’d been able to see Luke when his uncle had interrupted. But even still, he wasn’t sure that tactic would work. And even if it did, Rey would be privy to the conversation, and he was certain he didn’t want her listening in.

He’d backed himself into a corner. There was no way to deny it. He’d alienated everyone who ever cared about him in his blind lust for power, and now that he wanted them back, he had no foreseeable way of making that happen.

Without thinking, he called his lightsaber to his hand, ignited it, and slashed at the nearest available object. Luckily, the only thing he ended up destroying was an empty countertop. He gritted his teeth and forced himself to sheathe his saber. Destroying things never made him feel better in the end, nor did it ever solve his problems.

The only thing he could possibly do was double down on the efforts to find the Resistance, and then somehow convince Pryde and Hux not to blow up the planet the second they had the means. That whole operation could take years, however, and he didn’t have the luxury of having that much time on his hands. Rey was going to give birth in a matter of months, whether he was present or not.

It was too much for him. Everything his mind ever thought he wanted was in direct conflict with what he now so desperately craved. He was being torn apart more than ever before, and the agony was so unbearable all he could do was scream….

~HtTF~

Rey couldn’t help but grip the edge of the table. Nothing had happened to her physically, but utter agony had ripped through her body for a split second. Though it was gone just as quickly, her motion was spotted by several of the Resistance members she was sharing a meal with.

“Rey? Are you alright?” Rose asked from her spot next to Rey. Connix and Beaumont also gave her curious looks.

“Y-yeah,” she murmured. “I’m fine. I just… have to see General Organa about something real quick.” Ignoring the ever-growing number of stares that were coming in her direction, she hurriedly got up from her seat and sped off to find Leia.

Luckily, the general was just finishing a conversation with Snap when Rey came upon her. After the pilot walked away, that left Leia and Rey relatively alone.

“He’s hurting,” Rey said with no preamble as soon as Snap was out of earshot. Before Leia could even open her mouth, Rey continued. “I don’t know how or why, but for a moment I felt his pain like it was my own. Ben is hurting so badly right now.” She was in near tears by the time she finished talking. Instinctively, she attempted reaching out to him through their Force-bond, but was met for the first time with a storm of resistance. Ben’s mind was so confused, so conflicted, even she couldn’t get through to him. And it terrified her to her very core.

“Is it physical?” was Leia’s first question, concern written in every feature of her lined face.

“I don’t think so,” Rey murmured. “I can’t reach him at the moment. His mind is a mess. I think it’s all mental. But Leia, the pain he’s going through is real. It was severe enough that it even affected me through our connection before I was totally shut out.”

“Then he’s making his choice,” Leia whispered. “That’s the only thing that could cause him this much mental turmoil.” She squeezed her eyes shut tightly. “Please let him make the right decision,” she said so quietly Rey had to strain to hear her. She wasn’t even sure Leia had meant to say the sentence out loud.

“If he does?” she questioned. She had to know what the plan was moving forward for the sake of her own sanity.

“Then we somehow get him here without alerting the First Order of our location, and hope the rest of the Resistance can believe he’s changed,” Leia sighed. “I can’t predict how they’re going to react. This is the equivalent of trying to bring Darth Vader to the Rebel Alliance, and I can promise you that would have been a catastrophe, no matter my brother’s efforts.” The old general let a single tear fall down her face. “Rey, if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t know what to do here. I don’t always have all the answers. I think the best we can hope for is just to get him here, and then take it one day at a time.”

Rey hated to admit it, but Leia was right. As much as she yearned for Ben to join her in the Resistance, she knew very well that getting the others to accept him was going to be an uphill battle. It was the very reason she was staying silent about her pregnancy. And she didn’t even want to think about how Ben’s erratic temper was sure to flare up when confronted with outright hostility from almost every side.

Of course, this speculation was all under the assumption that Ben decided to join them at all. If he didn’t….

“What are we going to do if he decides he wants to stay Kylo Ren?” Rey whispered. She hadn’t dared to voice this greatest fear of hers aloud yet, but the time had come where she needed to confront it.

“The plan stays the same as it was before,” Leia said dully, but Rey could make out the heartbreak in her words. “We have to destroy the First Order at all costs, and give autonomy back to the planetary systems.”

“I won’t be able to kill him” Rey admitted with a piteous whimper. “I can’t look at his face and knowingly take his life, not after what we went through together, not after carrying and delivering his child.”

Leia was silent for a moment. “Then we have to place all our hope on him coming back to the Light,” she said simply. “Otherwise, there will be no chance of victory for us. No one else has the capability to defeat Ren. And without his defeat, the First Order will continue on. You know I hate to place this burden on you, but it’s the undeniable truth.”

Rey simply nodded, unable to say anything more. “I’ll let you know if I feel anything else… or if he contacts me,” she promised before heading to her secluded meditation grove. She knew that she probably should’ve explained her sudden disappearance to Rose, Connix, and the others, but she just couldn’t stomach the thought of having to appear as though everything was fine at the moment. She needed to be alone.

Except she was never really alone. Every day, the Force-signature she felt from her child grew stronger and stronger, so much so that she wondered how she ever could have missed it before. As her hand absentmindedly came to rest on her abdomen, she realized with a start that she was about to enter the third month of her pregnancy.

How could it be so soon? Rey knew that pregnancies lasted nine months, but it seemed unreal that two of those months had already gone by. Of course, she hadn’t known she was pregnant for the entirety of the first month, and though she knew it had been a few weeks since she had told Ben about their child, she hadn’t anticipated time moving by so quickly.

Rey was also highly aware that she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She’d start showing soon enough, and while she hoped to disguise her stomach in baggy clothing for a little while, it wouldn’t conceal the truth forever. It was already hard enough to conceal her swollen feet, her craving for the citrus-like fruit, and her constant tiredness from her friends. Finn, she knew, was already suspicious, and she wouldn’t be at all surprised if he asked to speak with her and demand the truth as soon as he, Poe, and Chewie returned from their mission. And even if he didn’t, she had an instinctual feeling that her secret wouldn’t stay secret for much longer. Someone, somehow, was going to learn very, very soon.

She looked down at her hand still resting on her stomach. “I wish your dad was here with me,” she murmured to the baby. “Even if it would cause stress and trouble, it would be better if he were here. It would be better than facing things alone.” She paused for a moment. Though it was very much a one-sided conversation that she was having, it was strange that Rey didn’t feel as though she was just talking to herself. If anything, the baby seemed more real, more alive to her than ever before. She glanced around, making sure no one was there, and resumed talking.

“I never knew my own dad,” she sighed. “And I don’t want that for you. More than anything, I hope your dad is part of your life… of both of our lives. And I hope this war is over soon so we can raise you in peace. But whatever happens, I promise that you’ll always have me. I never knew my mum either, but you won’t have to go through what I did. I won’t leave you, no matter what.” Rey knew that her baby couldn’t hear her words yet, much less understand them, but she thought she felt the baby’s Force-signature grow just a tad brighter at the end of her little speech. Or it might have just been her overactive imagination. At this point, she couldn’t tell.

But whatever it was she had felt, she knew one emotion she was now consumed with: love. Now that she was taking the time to accept that she was going to be a mother and acknowledging her child, Rey was filled with such a love that she had never known before. And she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she would do anything for this precious life she and Ben had created together.

Again, she was overwhelmed by how badly she wanted Ben to be with her. She desperately wanted someone she could be totally honest with, and as much as Rey loved Leia, Leia was always more of a surrogate mother than a friend, and Rey realized with a jolt that it wasn’t just Ben she was craving: she wanted a friend. 

But who could she turn to? Poe and Finn would both have explosive, not to mention negative, reactions, she was sure of that. And neither of them were even on Ajan Kloss at the moment and wouldn’t return for another day or so. No, she needed someone else, someone who would be more understanding.

The answer came to her all at once, and she immediately got up and went in search of her quarry. Soon enough, Rey found who she was looking for.

“Rose?” she whispered, not wanting to alert anyone else. “Can I talk to you?”

~HtTF~

When Kylo Ren looked up again, he was so disoriented, so distracted by the pain he was experiencing, that he didn’t even notice the man standing in his room at first. His mind and soul were so jumbled that he didn’t even bother to wonder how the man had even managed to get into his quarters without alerting anyone in the first place, or why he was colored blue and clearly not of this world. All Kylo cared about was that under no circumstances did he want anyone to see him right now.

“Get out!” he shouted, calling his lightsaber to his hand again. The volatile red blade burst from the emitter as he flicked the weapon on. The man stood there, totally calm as Kylo lunged for him. And in his blind rage, Kylo didn’t notice anything odd about the situation… until the lightsaber passed through the man’s body, but left him completely unscathed.

At that startling discovery, Kylo was finally forced to take a step back to truly assess the situation. Something was off, and yet, strangely he didn’t feel threatened. Though he was sure he had never seen this man before in his life, he felt familiar to Kylo. 

Under normal circumstances, he never would have done this, but now that Kylo was thinking more rationally, he was very aware that these were not normal circumstances, so he sheathed his saber, lowered the hilt, and really studied the man before him.

With a start, Kylo realized that this man looked like him. The face shape was exactly the same, as well as the same intensity behind his eyes. However, his eyes were blue in color, and his hair was sandy. But even these colors were all familiar to Kylo, for he’d seen them before. This man, somehow, shared his features, but his coloring was the same as Luke.

“Who are you?” Kylo asked, but at this point, he wasn’t sure he wanted an answer. Was this some warped version of his uncle, back to haunt him from the dead?

The man broke out into a smile. “I’ve waited a long time to finally get a chance to meet you, Ben,” he said. “My name is Anakin Skywalker. And we have a lot to talk about.”

~HtTF~

Hux looked down at his missive, pleased with himself. The message was succinct and clear, leaving no room for misinterpretation.

_Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has been found to have fathered a child with the Jedi Rey, a known leader of the Resistance._

All he had to do next was spread the message throughout the First Order. The Stormtroopers loved to gossip, so no doubt the information would make its way throughout the entire organization in no time.

Except… was this really the best move? If this information was somehow traced back to him, Ren would have his head. And even if Hux managed to keep his involvement anonymous, what good would it do to have the First Order know? Several of the higher ups would mistrust Ren for sure, but Hux didn’t want them for allies. They were all obstacles in his own ambitions. As of now, Hux had a huge advantage over them with the knowledge he possessed, and he wasn’t quite ready to relinquish that advantage just yet.

But he couldn’t just do nothing. He had to act, and fast, if he was going to try and bring Ren down. The information shouldn’t go to the First Order but….

Hux couldn’t stop the wicked smile that made its way over his face. No, the information couldn’t be sent to the First Order. But Hux knew exactly who it should be sent to, and he would carry the message without delay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This was a very fun chapter to write, and I'm excited to explore everything that has been set up here. Depending on how long Ben and Anakin's conversation takes, we might not see Rey next chapter, but we'll get to her and Rose soon, I promise. As for why Anakin is suddenly able to appear to Ben now, we'll get an explanation for that as well. And I haven't forgotten about Rey's work with the Jedi texts either. Don't worry, we'll get to everything before this story is over. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy and please do comment, I appreciate my comments so, so much. And with any luck, the next chapter will not take as long to come out as this one did, especially because I know I left a few cliffhangers in there.
> 
> ~TT


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I really tried to get this out sooner than this, I promise. However, this quarantine is really sucking the creative juices out of me. I work in the healthcare field, and my hours are crazy at the moment, and most of my days leave me pretty exhausted. But I haven't forgotten this story, and I'm having so much fun writing it, so I'll see it through to the end. Without further ado, I'll let you read, and I hope you enjoy!

Kylo’s eyes widened. Anakin Skywalker? His grandfather? For as long as he could remember, Kylo had always wished he could have met his grandfather, but now that Anakin was actually here in front of him, he was taken aback by how normal Anakin was.

“Anakin… Darth Vader?” he whispered, but at the mention of Vader, Anakin visibly winced.

“For a time, yes, I was known as Vader,” Anakin mumbled. “And every choice I made to bring about the birth of Vader, every action I did as Vader, was wrong. And I have been watching you for a long time now Ben, and the whole time I was hoping you wouldn’t make the same mistakes I made.”

At his words, a mixture of confusion, white-hot anger, and the shame that he didn’t like to acknowledge surged through Kylo. For the past seven years, Vader had been his idol, and he had done all he could to turn himself into a second Vader. But Vader himself, as it turned out, was disappointed in Kylo. It was yet another stab in the gut. He wasn’t Light enough for Luke or Rey, he hadn’t been Dark enough for Snoke, and now even his greatest inspiration found him lacking. Just how much more rejection must he suffer through?

“Then why did you only come to me now?” he hissed at Anakin. “If I was such a failure in your eyes, why didn’t you come to me sooner to help me? Or if I’m that much of a disappointment, why bother showing up at all?”

“If you want answers, you’re going to have to stop lashing out at me,” Anakin frowned. “Don’t make assumptions either. I never said you were a disappointment or a failure, and I certainly don’t believe that to be true. So, do you want to know what I have to say or not?”

Kylo hesitated, considering the offer. Even if Anakin was being sincere, Kylo still might not like what he had to say. He had a nasty feeling that entering into this conversation could very well lead to all the things he had done that kept him up at night, burning him with shame. He hated thinking about those moments, and usually did everything in his power to avoid it.

Except… if he truly wanted to be a better man for Rey and for their child, he knew he was going to have to confront his past mistakes, however painful it might be. He also knew that he needed help and guidance. He’d be foolish to turn away when a mentor had finally come to him. So, with a stiff nod, he sat down at the edge of his bed, and waited for Anakin to speak.

“I guess I should start with the Vader thing first,” Anakin sighed. “I won’t deny that I allowed Vader to take control for most of my life. Neither will I make any excuses for what I did as Vader. But at the end of my life, I found redemption through Luke. He brought me out of the Dark.

“Vader would have wanted you to rule the First Order. That much is true. But finally, in death, I’ve managed to free myself of Vader. And Ben, I didn’t want you to make the same mistakes I made. I know it’s been difficult to say the least, and I know better than anyone the lure that the Dark Side has. And I have attempted to reach out to you before, to offer what guidance I could but…” Here, Anakin trailed off, looking far into the distance, and with great pain behind those intense eyes that were so like his grandson’s.

“But what?” Kylo prompted. Now that Anakin had begun his explanation, Kylo was determined to hear every word he had to say.

“Your mind was in too great a state of turmoil. No one could reach you,” Anakin explained sadly. “Trust me, I wanted to help you. It hurt that you were being so torn apart, and that I could do nothing for you. But you cried out for help through the Force just moments ago, and we heard your call. I don’t think you realized what you were doing, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the barrier you put up was weakened when you called to us, and I didn’t hesitate to answer it. You’re not alone, Ben. We’ve always been here, watching, waiting, hoping that we would one day get a chance to speak with you. You just have to be willing to let us help.”

Kylo was silent for several minutes as he tried to process all the information he was being given. While he had been so confident that he had often heard Vader speaking to him before, he couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t wondered from time to time if that hadn’t just been Snoke manipulating him, and that seemed to be exactly the case. But even still, it was a hard truth to face, so instead, he latched onto something easier to comprehend. “You keep saying the word ‘we.’ Who is we?” he managed to question.

Anakin seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. “‘We’ are all the Jedi of the past,” he said. “Specifically, it’s been myself, my former mentors Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, Master Yoda, and of course, Luke.”

Kylo let out a wordless sound of disgust at the mention of Luke supposedly watching over him. He couldn’t bring himself to forgive Luke, not after all the pain his uncle had caused him. Luckily, Anakin picked up on that rather quickly.

“Okay, sensitive topic. I won’t bring it up again,” he said hastily. “But the point is, we’ve been here, just as we’ve been there for Rey.”

He couldn’t help himself from looking up at Anakin at the mention of Rey. “You’ve… spoken to her then?” he asked, trying and probably failing not to sound desperate for any information on her that he could get.

“I haven’t directly talked with her but… others have,” Anakin phrased delicately. “But I can tell you that every day she’s hoping you’ll return to her. Your mother is wishing for the same thing.”

As much as Kylo wanted to believe Anakin’s words, part of him just couldn’t see how what he was saying could be true. Forgiveness from his mother? Unconditional love from Rey? It was everything he secretly hoped for, but knew he didn’t deserve.

But if it was true, and his mother and Rey had forgiven him, how could he continue to stay away? Despite all he had done to climb through the ranks, he was finished with the First Order. He had obtained all the power and more than Snoke had originally promised him, and yet it left him feeling hollower than ever. While he didn’t much care for the idea of proclaiming his allegiance to the Resistance, it was a price he was willing to pay, for he knew his mother and Rey went hand-in-hand with the Resistance.

“I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it,” he whispered to Anakin, echoing the same words he had said to his father.

“Then don’t rely on your own strength,” Anakin murmured. “The Jedi of generations past will be there for you. As will Leia and Rey. If I can find redemption, anyone can. But as much as you need them, Leia and Rey need you as well… and so does your child.” Anakin stood, and as he did so, Kylo could feel his energy fading away. “May the Force be with you… always,” he whispered before blinking out of sight.

But even though he was gone, he left behind a strange yet comforting warm sensation within Kylo. Anakin might not have been visible, but his presence definitely lingered. It was a comfort, the sort of type Kylo had only ever felt with Rey before.

And it wasn’t just Anakin that he sensed. Reaching out with the Force, he was met with thousands of other beings. It felt similar to when he was in contact with Rey through their bond, though not as potent. However, all of these beings filled him with strength, helping to keep the Dark Side at bay.

He wasn’t alone. The Jedi of old still believed in him. More importantly, so did Rey and his mother. He refused to disappoint them any further. And he swore to himself that he would be a father that his child would and could be proud of.

However, as much as he yearned to, he couldn’t rejoin Rey just yet. He had to do what he could to protect her while he still commanded the First Order. Though he had most of their weapons at his disposal, he knew that Hux, at least, was probably keeping vital information as well as supplies from him. He would have to take down as much of the First Order as he could from the inside to give Rey and her Resistance as much of a fighting chance as they could get. Only then would he be able to return to her.

But return he would. His decision was made. Kylo Ren would die. But Ben Solo lived. And Ben Solo was going to redeem himself.

~HtTF~

Rose put her hands up to her face to cover her open mouth. Her eyes had gone so wide they were almost two perfect circles. It would have been almost comical if what Rey had just told her wasn’t so serious.

“So… you’re pregnant… and Kylo Ren is the father?” Rose asked, utterly astonished. She could barely process the information that she’d just been given. She needed another confirmation from Rey, just to be sure.

“Keep your voice down!” Rey pleaded, speaking no louder than a whisper herself. “General Organa is the only other person in the Resistance who knows about it, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as I can.” She sighed wearily. “And I’m not having Kylo Ren’s baby, I’m having Ben Solo’s,” she corrected, trying her best not to sound too exasperated already. Rey knew she was going to have to spend a great deal of time correcting people on exactly who had fathered her baby when the news came to light. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to the task, but she refused to give Kylo Ren any credit in the creation of her baby.

“Right… sorry,” Rose murmured. “I mean, it’s just unexpected. I knew you were acting a bit different, but I never could have imagined something like this.” She chewed her bottom lip for a moment before speaking again. “I’ll do whatever I can to help, but I don’t know how much help I’ll be able to give.”

“Honestly, just being a friend who will listen is helping more than you’ll ever know,” Rey admitted. “I haven’t really had a friend to talk to. I’ve debated telling Finn about it but…” she trailed off, guilt bubbling in her stomach as it always did whenever she was reminded that she was keeping something so huge from him.

“You’re afraid of how he’ll react,” Rose finished for her. “I get it. He’ll probably have an… explosive reaction.”

“And that’s just putting it lightly,” Rey groaned. “And Poe’s going to be even worse. I have no idea how I’m even supposed to tell them. I know that they can’t see any of the good in Ben like I do, especially not Finn. All they see is Kylo Ren. I don’t know how I’m going to change their views on him.”

“Well… I don’t think you’ll be able to,” Rose said. “You on your own won’t be able to convince anyone that Ben is… well, Ben. He’s going to have to show them himself.”

Rey sighed heavily again as she gently prodded at her bond with Ben. To her immense disappointment (though not much of a surprise), she found no change; he was still as inaccessible as he was before. “I don’t know if I’ll even be able to convince him to join us, even if he does leave the First Order. He has no great love for the Resistance, I know that,” she lamented.

“If he truly does love you, he’ll come,” Rose said firmly. Rey was taken aback by how totally confident she sounded. Even herself and Leia, who knew Ben best, weren’t as certain about the future as Rose seemed to be.

“How can you know? How are you so sure?” Rey asked, and as much as she was loathe to admit it, hot tears were stinging the back of her eyes. Her emotions were far more sporadic these days, and while she understood it was a side effect of her pregnancy, she still hated how little control she had over her own being.

“Well, the difference between the Light Side and the Dark Side as I understand it is whether or not you love others or yourself most,” Rose explained thoughtfully with a shrug and a slight smile. “If he really does love you more than anything, I can’t see how he could continue to be on the Dark Side. It’ll be hard for him, and he’ll need your support no doubt, but love can do crazy things to people, including helping them make sacrifices they never knew they were capable of. He’ll be strong enough to make the sacrifice to be with us if he really wants to be with you.”

Rey could only blink. She was totally speechless. Even though she’d dedicated herself to the study of the Force, even she hadn’t been able to see the conclusion that Rose had so effortlessly come to. However, Rey did agree completely with what Rose was saying. She made a mental note to add the other girl’s comments to her slowly growing list of changes that she wanted to make to the Jedi Code.

For when she wasn’t worrying over Ben and the future of him and their baby, she was determined to fix the mistakes she found with the Jedi Texts. Her talk with Luke had inspired her to do her best to right the wrongs so that after the war was finally over there would be less of a chance for the new Jedi Order to spawn any more Darth Vader’s, or Kylo Ren’s for that matter. It was a project she could pour her heart and soul into on days where she felt useless just sitting around instead of going on missions with the rest of the Resistance.

It was a daunting task, to be sure, and there were already plenty of times when Rey felt that she wasn’t wise enough to be taking on such a pivotal project, but she was comforted to know that she wasn’t alone. Leia, she knew, would be more than willing to offer her own advice, and ever since she had spoken with Luke, she could distinctly feel him and the other Jedi in the Force. If she needed it, she could call back on generations upon generations of wisdom and knowledge. She would not be facing this task blindly.

And she was also hoping that Ben would be able to lend his own knowledge as well. He could explain what had led him to the Dark Side, and they could use that information to better help others to not fall to the same temptations. Rey didn’t much fancy herself a teacher, but if she could at least help one other person like her, be a mentor to someone struggling with learning the Force themselves, then she would be proud of herself and her accomplishments.

“Rey?” Rose asked, snapping Rey out of her thoughts. She blinked a few times to reorient herself, then turned back to her friend.

“Sorry,” she murmured.

“You’re fine,” Rose assured her before continuing. “I just wanted to say, if it’s any consolation, that the next time you speak with Ben, you can tell him he’ll have a friend in me when he does decide to come here. I know he’ll probably be worried about how well he’ll be received, and while I’m not sure I can forgive Kylo Ren, I’m ready to give Ben Solo a chance for your sake.”

Once more, Rey felt tears pricking at her eyes. She knew that getting others to the point of even tolerating Ben was going to be an impossibly difficult battle for both herself and for him, and learning that someone other than Leia, even if it was just one person, was willing to give Ben the opportunity to prove himself, meant the world to her. “That… means more than you’ll ever know,” Rey said with total honesty. “And thank you so much for being willing to listen and not be judgmental, and just… thanks for being a friend. I’ve really needed it, more than I thought.”

“Anytime you need me, I’ll be there,” Rose promised with a smile. Rey returned the smile, but before she could say anything in reply she was suddenly overwhelmed with Ben’s presence. He was finally free of whatever clouds had been blocking him off from her, and she could feel that he was desperately trying to get in contact with her.

Rose must have seen the change in her expression and body language, for before Rey had the chance to explain, the other girl beat her to the punch. “You’re getting in contact with him, aren’t you?” she whispered. Without waiting for an answer, she continued. “Talk to him. I’ll go and make sure no one interrupts you.” She was gone before Rey could even thank her again for the umpteenth time that evening.

But she could talk to Rose again later. Right now, there was a far more urgent matter at hand that had to be addressed immediately.

She turned, and to her utter joy, she found Ben standing before her.

~HtTF~

Glancing around to make sure he wasn’t being followed, General Pryde slipped into his quarters. It would be imprudent for anyone to find out what he was doing and report him to Ren for treason against the First Order. He knew the young upstart Hux, for example, would be willing to do anything to take down his opponents, and Pryde had no interest in being bested by anyone.

Of course, soon enough he wouldn’t have to worry about the First Order and its combative rivalry in the high ranks any longer. He was going to be a great leader, greater than even the revered Tarkin had been to the Empire, but Pryde would be in the Final Order, the greatest force the galaxy had ever seen.

His holo-communicator lit up to indicate he was receiving a message, and he hastened to answer it. There before him was Emperor Palpatine, his body a wreck of his former self, but his spirit had lost none of its potency or power. “My Lord,” Pryde murmured, lowering his head in deference, not looking up again until he heard the Emperor give him permission to rise.

“The plan is moving forward better than expected,” Palpatine mused when Pryde looked back up at him. “Ren had been lulled into a false sense of security. Soon, he will leave the Order to go back to my granddaughter. You must make sure he reaches her safely.”

“It will be done, my Lord,” Pryde vowed.

“Good. There can be no room for error,” Palpatine continued. “This new child… it has both Skywalker and Palpatine blood in its veins. I can already sense how much power it has in the Force. We must ensure that it grows in the knowledge of the Dark Side. Once Ren and my granddaughter are reunited, I’ll continue my assault on the boy’s mind. He thinks he is safe, but I still have hold over him. They’ll have no choice but to come to Exegol, and there I will pass my spirit on to her. And then, you shall have your reward, my loyal servant.”

“Consider it done, my Lord,” Pryde said, unable to contain his smirk. “I’ll ensure that Ren is free to find the girl.” As the communication with Palpatine cut out, his smirk grew into a whole self-satisfied smile. Pryde couldn’t pretend to understand the Force and why the child of Ren’s was so vital to Palpatine’s plans, but it wasn’t his place to ask questions. He would do what Palpatine commanded. And so far, everything was working. The pawns were lined up perfectly. And soon, he, Pryde, would be the one to reap the reward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope that you all enjoyed that chapter! It's been such a treat to be able to write this, and I get so giddy when you guys leave me a comment telling me that you enjoyed reading this. I can't promise when I'll update next, but I do have a lot of inspiration at the moment, so I'll do my best to funnel that into this story. But until then, I would love to hear from you in a comment. Let me know any predictions you have, or just any thoughts in general. Like I said, they really do make me so happy and they also help with inspiration. Until next time!
> 
> ~TT


End file.
